The Little Things

I have been noticing lately that it is the "little things" that have been effecting me most in these last weeks of school. I may have 24 DRAs to administer, 24 writing rubrics to complete, and 24 math tests to give and grade, but the thing that puts me over the edge... completing 11 flower pots for the assistants that are losing there jobs at the end of this year and then hearing that 2 more might be going also. The flower pots are no big deal. They were easy to make. They were cheap (but a little hard to find). It is the uncertainty that is constant in our schools these days that is really the problem, I guess. (I say this with some uncertainty)

For those of you who may not be familiar with our school, we are adding a 4/5 intermediate building to our corporation and redistricting for next year. We REALLY need these changes, however, this means that we will be losing half of our teaching staff to the 4/5 building. I used to teach 5th grade so I consider many of these teachers my friends and I will miss them. We are also losing all of our classroom aids because the corporation says that they will reduce our class sizes, reducing our need for aids. Every teacher in our building will be moving classrooms except three (OK, I have no room to complain here because I am one of the three) There will be alot of new teachers in our building next year. We do not yet know if our art, music, P.E. teachers will be here next year. I understand all the changes and also understand some of the delays in the decisions being made, but it doesn't help the aura of anxiousness filling our building. It seems that everyone is on edge.

O.K., so what can I learn from this? I have been thinking that if uncertainty and the unknown can make my mind so unfocused, what must it do to a 6 or 7 year old? If I can become grumpy and irritated by not knowing who will be in the room next to mine next year, what must a 7 year old be feeling if s/he doesn't know who will be in his/her room next year or who his/her teacher will be? Should I be so hard on these kids when they start acting up? Should I give them a break? If I do start changing the rules now, aren't I just adding to the uncertainty? If I give them more chances than I have all year or let them be noisier, am I just adding to the stress? I understand why they may be acting out, but I can't excuse it or let it go. If I change the expectations this late in the game, I think I would do more harm than good. I will however, be more empathetic. ("Thanks Mrs. K. for your empathy, it really makes me feel better while sitting in detention.")

So for now, I will keep the structure as constant as I can during the last 8 days of school. I will try to inform my students what to expect in 2nd grade. I will try to keep my iritation at a minimum and I will be empathetic to my sweet 7 yr olds. I know this is the best plan. (OK, I don't know anything at this point, I am uncertain if this is the best way to handle it. There may be a much better way...)

The one thing I am certain about is that I am writing on my blog right now to avoid grading the 18 or so writing samples that are located on the desk next to me as I type this. They are due tomorrow :(